Embracing Something New!
As many of you know who have read my previous blogs or who are clients of mine, I am not a fan of “New Year’s Resolutions”. Mostly because they tend to negate all that we are or have become or evolved into over the course of a year and continue to put pressure on ourselves to be something that we may or may not even want to be. Or to do something we may or may not actually want to do but are feeling outside “pressures” or unresolved inner “pressures” to be.
In a recent session with a client, we were talking about the concept of change. How motivated at times she feels to want to do something different or tackle some projects, but how the couch and Netflix seem to always win.
Recognize that we have many parts of us that are all competing for attention. In this case, there’s the part of her that deeply desires to experience something different, and the part of her that equally desires comfort and sameness. And rightfully so! We all deserve/need comfort, familiarity, security etc. All of those things are extremely necessary. Life can feel demanding and we have many stressors in a course of a day. We all need a safe, secure place to land and just be.
This is the piece that many people get caught up in when they are taking steps towards achieving a goal or change. As I say often, we have to work WITH ourselves and not against. Meaning, we need to embrace, accept and INCLUDE all sides of ourselves in order to authentically move forward. We need to include these pieces of ourselves with every step in the process change. Resistance shows up when there is underlying fear. It can be fear of change in general, the pressure to maintain some form of change, fear of failing, fear of just getting it wrong, fear of facing something that feels too scary or too big etc. Which means, there’s a part of us that is feeling threatened. Threatened of losing the thing that we know best. That makes us feel “safe, secure and soothed”. This is an important piece to recognize in order to allow changes.
When you think of the thing that you would like to achieve or the experience that you wish to have in your life, and you think of the steps it might take to make that change, what comes up for you?
A lot of times we fall into the all or nothing mentality. We have to completely turn away from the thing we know in order to have the thing we desire. There are times where that might be true if we are in great danger or an abusive situation, but achieving a goal isn’t always the case.
So again, how do we work WITH ourselves? How do we include all of these scared parts ourselves that need attention?
We break things down a bit more. We may generate a big list of things we want to achieve and the smaller goals that we need to take to get there and then we can even break them down some more. Let’s take my client vs. the couch and Netflix for example. She has a list of things she’d like to do with her time, however, she also needs time to unwind, relax, let go, escape, feel comforted (who doesn’t love blankets and movies…).
In order to gain some momentum, we break those steps down even further. Our first thought was, to set aside an hour to do the thing she wanted to do. After she sat with that, she still wasn’t sure she could do that. So, we looked at it again and after a little more back and forth, she felt good about watching one show and taking a 15min timed break to start working on a project, or exercise or clear off a shelf in the book case she wants to start clearing etc.….and then she would resume another show.
In this example, you can see how the new thing gets “tested”, while the activity of comfort still is in play. This eventually will grow into more time doing those things she has been putting off, as she continues to feel equal or more joy and satisfaction than the thing she did for that same feeling before. Does that make sense? Allow yourself to feel what the new thing can give you. Be open to a different experience and a different way to experience whatever feeling that is you are trying to feel.
So, as you are dreaming up all that you wish to experience this year that may be different from your previous experiences, make sure you include all these aspects of yourself that like to show up as resistance, self-sabotage, fear etc. Remember to Include them vs shun, embrace them, love them just as you love your inspiration and desire. There is no wrong way or timeline to creating a different experience!
If you’d like to discuss your goals for the year around nutrition, movement and health, feel free to connect! I’d love to work together!
Registered Dietitian Nutritionist
Nicole is recognized state-wide and nationally as a Registered Dietitian and is also a Certified dietitian through the state of Wisconsin. She is also a Board Certified Sports Dietitian and a Certified Personal Trainer and Physical Fitness Instructor.
Nicole’s areas of expertise include: Wellness and lifestyle coaching, weight management, behavior modification, eating disorders, vegetarian lifestyles, gluten-free living, sports nutrition, recipe and menu design and development.